life is good.

con-tem-pla-tion:
[kon-tuhm-pley-shuh]

1.The act of contemplating; thoughtful observation.
2. full or deep reflection; consideration.
3. to find purpose of intent

I have been curiously contemplative. about many things.

"I want to be with someone

who makes me my best self.. in every aspect

 of the word best."

Winter is beautiful.

the two winter wonderland pictures are my backyard.

breath-taking isn't it?

When summer comes maybe i will miss winter

how peaceful and calm it is

even when it may be really cold. 

the quiet white world it brings is amazing

i can't say it isn't beautiful.

because it is oh so beautiful.

and i do love it

Dear sarah and saria

i miss you two

the end. 

:) 

Ingredients for Cola Girl

• Saint Louis Missouri baby!! (my home town, where i lived for ten years)
• Provo/Centerville Utah (i was born in centerville, and i have now lived in provo for 3 1/2 years)
• Music: every kind and all kinds. Rap,Country, Indie and Oldies are my favorites. 
• Adventure: anything outside, exploring everywhere and everything. 
• boating: i've gone every year since i can remember. my wake board is my baby
• Yoga & meditation, (a dear friend introduced me to both)
• people: i love being with the people i love. the end.
• Blogging. (obviously) :) 
• singing. and i want to learn how to play the ukulele, guitar, and piano
• Laughing and smiling.
• Helping people around me,
• my family.
• Shy and quiet, yet completely wild to.. (it works)
• and LOVE i wouldn't be me without love. because i can love like there's no tomorrow. 

This is Natalie
she's my baby sissy
and my mini me.
she's 10 now.
and all grown up.
its crazy how fast times goes.
2 to 10 over night.

and she got her ears pierced.

i feel so ambitious. its surging through my body. through my mind. pulsing.

i want to put this feeling in a bottle and save it always, i could just open up my bottle of ambition every time i felt like i needed it.

lord knows that sometimes my ambition isn't always there,  yet... he knows how much i want it to be! how much i just wish it to be!

so what do i do? to keep my ambition always that is.. instead those sometimes when it randomly decides to knock on my door.. if i could, i really would bottle it up. it seems like the perfect yet simply unrealistic solution.

"everything you want is just outside of your comfort zone"

-Robert Allen

and that is the answer to my solution. if i can just step outside of my circle that 19 years has drawn around me. if i could break the barrier that holds my comfort yet completely refrains me from what i truly want then ambition would surge through out me.

i need to take my leap and shatter my circle of complete comfort and explore and adventure through new ground. I want it i crave it so utterly bad its like this itch i can't scratch unless i do break my circle. 

listen. the sound of shattering glass, is coming. i can't stay in this circle of comfort any more so i am going to break it. no matter how hard and unbearably uncomfortable it may be. i WILL do it.

and see the world in a color i never have.