Thursday, July 29, 2010

Last night Sar and i slept on my roof and discussed Yoga,life, theories, opinions, and being the kind of person you want to be most.

We watched the lightening come over the mountains and we enjoyed how beautiful our world is.

I played what little i could on my guitar and we fell asleep under the stars, contemplating the many things that life holds. And the many things that life has already brought.

Today i went country dancing with my buddies, it was a blast and i think having fun and dancing can be the best medicine for most things. We also roasted smores and talked. And got to know eachother a little better. I think the best thing is to get to know people and learn about them, I think my life is so great.

Life is such a wonderful thing.
Never let worries get you down

Worries are nothing but negative nothings that float around and do no good in life.
I believe there will never be a purpose for negative thought.
music is so full of light and life.
it brings emotion into even the darkest soul.
Music can change a heart like nothing else can..

It expresses and moves in such fluidity.
It flows into the soul and and brings inevitable feeling.

Its like a river i think, constant flowing, refreshing, peaceful.
It brings life and purpose. And can benefit everyone. 
Life is so fragile and it's so important to live life how you know you would want to live it.
Every moment can matter and if you make it matter your life will overflow with meaning and purpose.
Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. 
Be the person you want to be and don't let the little things get in your way, 

the instant satisfaction isn't worth it. the long term things the long term satisfaction
that comes from your heart and your soul and your dreams and the the things you want
to go after. Work towards the things that are your dreams.

Be yourself and love it. Love every second in the skin your in. Love every second of who you 
are. In the end you will have just you, the things that "define" you such as hobbies, talents, and assets..
They aren't you. Love and compassion and the relationships you build and the good you share in the world, the things you give, the selfless loving acts, those are the things that truly define you. Emotion and feeling are the things that breath life into our lives. 

We all have an abundance of good we can give, so give. 

Life is to short for worries and to live in fear. Live in contentment and learn to love where you are in life even if it isn't the place you imagined you'd be.

There is optimism in all things--just open your eyes and you will see.
The world will come alive in a way that will take your breath away.
Optimism brings peace and vibrance into a once dull and scared world.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

To do nothing Because of fear is a fools hiding place

Sometimes i get very scared about things..
And because of that i don't do anything because it's easier that way.
I am learning that i need to just jump into the things i fear, and learn.
And maybe i won't be fearful anymore.

Goal: Be a do"er" not a watcher.

and don't let anything in life scare me into doing nothing.

I have thought about trying some things. But i am slightly unsure.
I seem to be unsure about a lot.

So i'm gonna just jump in and do it i think.
You never know things till you try them.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Ah I keep forgetting things!

So last thing :) tonight when i sat on my roof, a shooting star flew across the sky line and then faded out.

And i made a wish
but i can't tell
Cuz i really want it 
to come true.

Yes it's about Paul
But i can't say more than that

: D

Oh, I forgot :)

i decided tonight i want to start a song journal. Because everyday i always have a song or two that i relate to esspecially well. and so i thought that everyday i will tell the song of that day and describe how it relates to my day :)

Today: July 23 2010-Say what you need to say, John Mayer, Gravity Sarah Bareilles, & Deep city lights.

Say what you need to say is just beautiful because sometimes i bottle things up and i am not myself, but it feels wondeful to let things out and say what your feeling

Gravity because Of paul..This one is a bit tougher to i don't think i will.

And deep city lights because of the title mostly-I was on my roof today looking at deep city lights and it was beautiful

Pictures :) Credit Given to My BFFL Sar

Boating With Kayla, Sar, My sissy's and my Papa
We found New Entertainment :)
We're swinging upside down on the wake tower.

Brett & Daniel Swimming with Armani the Whale

Brett Hiding His Belly Button From Sar & I Behind Armani

Then we caught him unsuspecting. haha

Sar And I Paddling Across The Res on Brett's Knee board

Heel Clicks in Allen's Where Brett works.
Funny-We got accused of shoplifting..
and they checked our bags.
i think we look like innocent girls
how they thought we were shoplifting I don't know..

Daniel teaching me how to Crochet :)
What a Grand teacher.

Our "I'm Happy we're best friends faces" 

Perfect shot! But then Brett Forgot to put his head in..
so we got his ear instead.

The End For now :) More Pictures soon

Ramblings in the mind of Nicole

So some thoughts running through this mind of mine

-i love music so much and aspire to be a good piano and guitar player
-Sometimes i miss Paul a lot, but i need to remember to keep my head up!
-Happiness is purely a state of mind and takes constant work
-Knowledge is the enemy of fear.
-My family is so dear to me, i love them so much
-David is one of my bestest friends
-This world is so unbelievably beautiful
-I need to be a do"er" not a watcher
-I think that secrets can be dumb at times..well only when they're kept from me..
not that I'm nosy..i just don't like when everyone knows whats going on but me.
as in William is being secretive about this one thing..and he says I'll know when the time comes
yet he also says that everyone else already why is he keeping it from me? I don't know..
-I feel like I'm a fence sitter on a couple subjects right now, and i think i need to learn and then choose
these subjects including what i want to do, church, and if i really want to go to BYU-I
-It's important that i start managing my money well, and get things under control.
-Also things can change so fast! Life just never slows down or stops..As Sar puts it, I was a hermit
before she left for Canada and Then she comes back and I'm hangin out with all these boys..haha not completely true though..I wasn't a hermit. :)
-I've also been thinking, how much i love life and how lucky i am to live it.

: )

Thus ends the thoughts of me.

Hello Blog Nicole Speaking

It has been so so long since I've talked to you. And so much has happened
friends leaving
new friends coming
old friends returning
&& hardships.

yes, since I have blogged last much has happened.
I am very happy to say that the hardships are very very
minimal and not huge. Just a few worries here and there.
That as always can easily be overcome. And have been.

I am happy to say that i have been so so happy
And i have had so much fun.
And i love my friends & my family.

I have made new friends-like i said before :)
Micah Smith
Brooke Mortensen
Brett Johnson
Daniel Keele
Rika & Jes
& Alecc Quezada

And become better friends with others Like Ms. Kayla Hunter.. Who is such a doll
And I got an Eskimo sister Ms. Bronwen Dromey Who is also such a doll
(we need to go country dancing and morning hiking soon) :)

We have many grand adventures that include:
Swimming at the Res
(blow up mattresses and armani the whale)
Ice Blocking
Playing at parks till forever late in the night
Sitting on my roof
Power tumbling
Watching lightening
at the bowl.
Running in the rain.
Through sprinklers.
Eating it as i run down a hill..In front of Alecc
Tagging at rock canyon
Sitting on Brett's car talking till almost 3
McDonald with Alecc, Brett and Daniel.
Playing at canyon crest, trying to get on the roof.
Hopping over the pool fence at UVU to go swim at 1 in the morning,
and not leaving till 4.
Daniel & Brett saving the night when some
horn dog wouldn't leave kayla's house.
(thank you guys, you both are gems)
Hiking the Y for the first time.
Betos with Brett, Daniel, Saria & Sar :)

Then some other things
Boating with the fam + Kayla and Sar
When Sar came back from canada and we ran down the street and
meet in thee biggest hug ever. Yes We collided in happiness.
And going to this MASSIVE slip and slide at rock canyon with Steffi
and Sar with tons of people and shaving cream :) then the cops came and busted us..
Having deep conversations with Steffi and Sar in the car.
Spending the day with my cousins and playing at nickle cade all day :)
Learning Guitar
Bessy almost dying several times..and almost getting hit because of it.
Driving my daddy's truck to get Sar.
Playing Guitar on my roof
FHE with the Fullers
Basket ball with William..getting mooned..ugh.
Letters from Paul
Sleeping in a tent with my cousins, Ed joinin us till 3 in the morning
Scary movie that wasn't scary with Ed, Will, and Sar.
Missing Paul...
Hiking with Hannah up rock canyon and talking about life..
Trek in Wyoming (Best experience ever..teaches so much)
-I gained such respect for the pioneers and the stars were magnificent
-The mosquitoes not so much
-playing the Ukulele with Sarah Jenkins and singing..the whole time :)
Trying to camp out at Yuba lake with my family...but it didn't work
we forgot to make reservations..But we had a great time with the Johnsons
at Utah lake :)
Working for 30 hours and 10 minutes at Sister Shimmins (her yard is beautiful now)
Meeting Rika and Jes (who are from Japan)
Talking with Kenna a lot more and re lighting our friendship in a way
Wake boarding :)
Talking with William about church till absurd hours of the night.
Girls day with Kate and Marianne (which was so fun, i love them)

I think that about sums it up so far. Summer is so amazing. I love it.
And I am having a blast.

However-I am so nervous about so terribly nervous..
I will be out on my own..and i feel so un prepared..
For a long time i did nothing because i was scared.
But to do nothing because of fear is a fools hiding place.
So i need to tackle this head first..and not let fear dictate my actions.
I am excited..just nervous

Tonight-i sat on my roof and played my guitar while looking out into the city lights. Bliss
And i thought about life- and i pondered things..and people.
And Kenna Echols is such a good friend.

And don't know if i ever told about the time Sar and I went to Pita Pit and she got some guys number.
And then we walked threw center street late at night..and went to velour..And it was beautiful..and i thought of paul

Or the time Kenna and i cried and talked on the phone for hours and cried and patched up the lingering friendship. And now its just as strong as ever.

What about when Sar and i went kayaking and vowed one day to cross the lake in our kayaks

Then there was Lya's surprise Party And the night before watching "eh hem" Invictus with William..but not really watching it..And then a couple nights later talking ..sort of till 2 in the morning out side my window..
And realizing how dysfunctional of friends we are..and how we should probably change it..So i think we have..

P.S. Daniel  taught Sar and I to Crochet at the Res yesterday. He is making a blanket. and He takes with him everywhere. Cool huh :) He also rocks at piano.

I went running tonight. I loved body missed it. I need to run everyday..
I love being a primary teacher. As in last week we had 11 four year olds to control
It was so so fun :)

My class however is getting split..sad..

Well, I will end this Blog post..and start a new one about some thoughts I've had lately..
Stay Tuned :)

Monday, July 5, 2010

So fun :) just what I needed!

ok so today was a day of cleaning..
ugh my room was so messy to the point my floor
was starting to disapear little by little..
i finally got it all clean and then i went to work for..
two hours and kayla and i made plans to hang out :)
so at six when i got of i called Ms. Kayla and then a bit later...

(pause for dramatic affect)
Nothing happened! 
and i got in this really bum mood (not because kayla didnt call yet. other reasons) :( 
and i cried about some things that have really been bothering me latley.
i listened to this really nice song..and tried to meditate but i just cried more.
and i felt awful... then perfect timing!
Kayla called to say she was on her way and she got here and we had a brief chat
and then we went to days and got ice blocks (paid for it in all change :) and sung
little mermaid in the car! And i began to feel better. We went and got Lya lu.
And saw her adorable little brother. and then off to the canyon. 
We met up with our springville buddies. And had fun. We went ice blocking :)
I met new people (always good) and then we laid in a circle all looking at the pretty stars
and Kayla brought some freaking sweet flashy glasses... and we all wore them.
Trust falls...hahah micah fell...right in between me and kayla...funny.
Then me and ....this one kid...ummm his name was ..i dont remember.
But anyway, we ran through the sprinklers! (his name was alec i think) 
And then we did head stands...and we laughed and talked and had fun.
And kart wheels to! 

Seriously best medicine ever! 
Goodnight :)

Saturday, July 3, 2010

:) I love my country!!!

oh wow i love the fourth of july i think its my fav holiday.
craaaaaaazzzy day on the lake!! So windy like were talking
white caps and 4-5 foot swells. i felt so adventurous going boating in that
and i got tan and i am so so happy and i need to remember just to

i do that way to much!!!!
 i love life
and i love everyone :)
so have fun.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Arms Wide Open

Here I am.
In the Midnight hour.
With thoughts rushing through my head.

Here I am.
Sitting and the music i love.
The music that tells the world.
how i feel inside.
in the poetic way that it does.

Here I am.
Wondering what to say .
What to say to him.

Here I am.
Thinking about a friend.
a dear friend of mine.

Here I am.
Wondering what life has in store.
and what I will do with it.

I am here.

Feeling lots of things.
Most of which i don't.
fully understand.

Who I could be.
where I am going.

The people I love.

The one who makes me wonder.
who makes me think.

The one who i wish i could see.
wish i could talk to.

The one who i can confide in always.

And the one who knows me better than i know myself.

Here I am sitting and thinking.
Thinking and feeling.
Tell me do these feelings ever go away?

Or will they just stay, along with the rushing thoughts in my head.

My biggest downfall.
My biggest weakness.
My biggest fear.

My biggest hope.
My biggest reality.
My biggest solid foundation.

Do you get what I'm saying yet?

Good. Lets keep it that way.

Worry, fear, passion.
longing. wanting. hope.

trust. friendship. love.

These feelings and thoughts rushing.
in this mind. that is trying to sort through.
And make sense of it all.

By writing.
These little tid bits.
That will maybe help

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