. . .me & my skin--the on going battle. . .

Fact: my skin has bothered me for as long as i can
even remember. since seventh grade to be exact.

Fact:It has been the hardest thing for me to deal
with and is the only thing about me i have truly hated
at times

Fact: It has at times (not indefinitely) made me come to the conclusion
i am not beautiful. and that if only i had beautiful
skin then i would be beautiful.

Fact: I have let my skin control how i feel at times.

Fact: I've been called ugly a few times in six years.
only one time was someone serious. But i took every single
time in as if it were true. and i believed it.
and i blamed it..on..my skin.

--It's those nasty putrid little red things, that keep
in mind everyone gets at one time or another, that i have
fussed over and let control my confidence for a long
time. I have this memory..i know it undeniably well.
8Th grade..i get to school. run to the bathroom.
I NEEDED make-up. (or so i thought) I looked in the mirror.
ugly..the only word that i could think of. Make up.
somewhat better. not good enough. The thought: if only
i had perfect skin, then i would be pretty.

"if only i had perfect skin, then I'd be pretty."

Truth: I don't have perfect skin.

*I have let my confidence and self esteem ride a
roller coaster filled with ups and downs. I have always
loathed looking in the mirror when my face is broken out
&& naked. I have tried countless numbers of things to try and make
them disappear. did it work? no.

Truth: My zits still bother me.

Truth: I plan to win this battle

For starters make up may cover zits up, but it
begins an endless cycle.
zit-cover up-pores clog-more zits-more cover up.
solution: stop the cover up.

--I have always thought i was pretty, as long as i had make up
I am a very confident person and my self
esteem is way up there, when my make up is on.
Most don't realize that nicole roberts has had one weak spot
in her circle of confidence and self esteem.

However fixing my issue with my skin is not as easy as it seems. Because i feel so
naked and ugly with my face exposed. I am literally addicted to
covering any red zit that makes my face its home. But today as i
was looking in the mirror. I decided that i am going to completely
destroy and obliterate the only weak place in my self-esteem && confidence.

Truth: God does not make his children ugly.

Truth: Zits happen to everyone

Truth: I KNOW i am beautiful, but for the longest
time i have let acne determine whether i
think i am beautiful or not.

Tonight: i apologized to my skin for endless abuse.
For six years it has been caked with all sorts of zit
cover up remedies. as i washed my face with a warm clothe,
my skin rejoiced to be able to breathe. I then looked up into
the mirror. I then decided i will try to finally tackle this
ongoing battle of hate for my skin. My skin isn't as horrific as
i make it out to be. So i am going to try to fix this one weak
spot in my circle of confidence. I am going to try and slowly get
myself comfortable in the skin i am in..with out make up. It's time
to let my skin heal and breathe.

Truth: i am scared out of my mind to let people see a plain face.
It will be VERY hard. I am going to try.

So here is trying to make up years of suffocating my skin and being
self conscious about it. It will end soon. I am going to win the battle
i have been fighting with myself. It may take time, but here's to trying..



--Here is me with no make up. My skin was good that day.
But it can be bad. believe me.

dear world,
here i am, make up free. i dare to be different.
I dare to overcome my one self esteem problem and i am going to
begin to love the skin i am in.
Love, nicole