Confusion and So many thoughts..

I NEED to get things out..
but sometimes i can't.
it builds up inside me
and screams inside but i can't..

I can't get out what needs to come out.
Especailly if i dont know what it is.
If I don't know whats screaming at me.
How do i get it out?

Today something is and has been building up..

The only way i can describe it.
Screaming
confusing
hard
aching..

Does it sound bad?
it feels not the greatest..

I have a confession.
i know EXACTLY what is screaming at me.
But i don't want to admit it.

So can i just write a letter to that screaming thing?
maybe it will leave me alone then.

Dear thing inside..
Please STOP trying to hide.
you leave me confused and aching.
sometimes it gets so bad i think my heart is breaking.
I thought maybe you left when i said goodbye.
Then you came into my life again just the other night.
breaking aching
confusing loosing.
lossing myself in the fight.
i want it even though i know its not right.
You make my world CHAOS every time you come.
Please just go away. let me run.
I said goodbye for a reason.
For a reason. for a reason.
I can't handle you
You take away my ability to choose.
I told you goodbye.
Please. leave me alone.
Just accept goodbye.
I need you to, cuz when you come around.
it KILLS me inside.